But first I have to admit I have a problem.

So for the past week or two I’ve had a loss of appetite [which is pretty bad when I usually don't feel like eating much anyway. But even ceasing my beloved junk food? Oh dear.], nausea and stomach pain. Top it all off with rather cold weather for a November’s day [it's summer in 7 days!!] and over all, misery.

Yea. I should see a doctor sometime this week. Maybe Thursday as I’m free then. Or today. Though the nausea seems to have gone. Stomach still hurts though.
But what if it is all in my head? It’s not like I am spewing bile.
Maybe I just want to avoid my mother’s cooking. Goodness knows I look for any excuse to stay away from home though really I should be getting some bed rest.

I don’t know what subject I should do next semester and results are coming out soon on. Oh wait. Thursday afternoon to Friday morning. Gosh. I hope I get more than credits this semester. All distinctions for once? I have to make up for having gotten a mere pass last semester. I’d hate it so much if my wam dropped rather than rose. Was doing so well until the very ending. Loss of motivation? Maybe its more like losing the will to live.

I can’t confide in anyone.
Damnit.
Besides other people have their own issues.

And I hate holidays. It’s not just boredom. It’s watching days past so slowly like ants crawling. Losing track of this thing called time. Maybe the afterlife if there is such a thing is more interesting.
Actually, no. I go out quite a bit. It’s only been 2 weeks or so since my exams finished. I am not devoid of humanity. And yet…it is all so superficial. Is that the word?
Shallow.
Lacking in depth.
Or is that just a reflection of myself based on what I surround myself with nowadays? How I long to discuss on something, anything, just to provoke thoughts, a fight… well, without someone’s attempts to slyly insert outright lies to get the upper hand. Because that just defeats the point =_=’

Hm. I could do with changing this site around too.